A crazy lady’s thought process…
The other day, I put up a post about the feeling I had within me. I was ready to create and then we had company. I loved the company, but since then those feelings within me have only grown. That is a good thing, but now I feel out of control!
Wait. Allow me to choose better words… I feel like this feeling within me is growing so much that I am going to simply lay it down and lock it up. It is becoming so powerful that I don’t know what to do with it.
I have been doing some research the past few days. I have ran across many terms and really have become fond of the term, “Chaos Magick”. It fits me in every way, and in every aspect of my life. It is all about non-conformity – but that phrase in itself has become ugly in so many circles of today’s society. It is about me being me. It is about you being you. Here is the definition:
“Chaos is not in itself, a system or philosophy. It is rather an attitude that one applies to one’s magic and philosophy. It is the basis for all magic, as it is the primal creative force. A Chaos Magician learns a variety of magical techniques, usually as many as s/he can gain access to, but sees beyond the systems and dogmas to the physics behind the magical force and uses whatever methods are appealing to him/herself.”
~ Mark Chao
It is so exciting to me to find that there are, in fact, others that believe like I do! A liberation of sorts.
Now, allow me to take a slight step to the side…
I know that I have power. (We all do – we just need to feel it!) I know I can make anything happen. However, the first step to making something happen is actually knowing what you want. I do know what I want; but when it comes to the second step – writing it down, I get discouraged. I begin to feel depressed, hopeless even. Why do I do this to myself?! Sometimes I totally infuriate myself! Okay – to be honest, I get discouraged because I have written so many things down for goals and they haven’t come true. I hate that. I have tried so many businesses that have not flourished. Sometimes I feel like such a loser. BUT I always continue on. I look at each “failure” as a learning experience.
I know I can come up with great ideas. I know I can be successful. I know what I have to do.
Here is my realization – I write down exactly what I want. I use magick to put the wheels in motion. But then what if it doesn’t work? What if the one belief that I hold so close to my spirit – that belief that we are all magickal and powerful – what if I can’t get that to work? That is where my real fear sets up shop.
My fear isn’t in the belief that I am not able to create a sustainable business that will succeed beyond measure. My fear is that I cannot do what I am most proud of – create magick in my life.
Wait a second. I know I have that magick, and I know I can make it work. I have done it many, many times! I just have not done it when it comes to financial success. If I can do it to cure stage 4 pre-cancer, I can do it to create wealth, abundance, success, and financial happiness.
It looks like I have a challenge on my hands. I am going to lay out my plan today. I will put it on paper. I will then post it to this site. It will include all the info I need in order to magickly create the life and situations I want to create and how I will make that happen – in magickal terms. Just a heads up – I may block some stuff from your view. Not the magick part – but the business part. Who knows. I may not. It all depends on how it unfolds.
Then – you can watch as I bring my desires into fruition.
This is so exciting to me! I can’t wait to start. (I’m going to start now.)